In this guest post by Carol Goudie working with Julie Cochrane, they reflect on the importance of keeping materialism in check, and focussing on build meaningful relationships instead.
In our materialistic world, it is easy to confuse having and giving with being and loving. Our society bombards us with messages linking possessions to happiness. It’s hard not to go full-tilt after wealth, possessions and status as though they are the key to our fulfilment. But they are not the key. Fulfilment through the single-minded pursuit of material things is illusory.
The illusion starts when we mistake having for loving. Material possessions can give us comfort and convenience, but they can’t replace the depth of emotional connection that defines genuine love. And the illusion continues when we mistake giving as a transaction rather than giving a state of being. True fulfillment comes from embodying a spirit of generosity in our actions and interactions.
If we don’t understand the difference between having, on the one hand, and loving and being, on the other, we’re likely to prioritise acquiring possessions over nurturing meaningful relationships. And we are likely to mistake giving as an obligation, or as a way to get recognition, rather than experience generosity that stems from a genuine desire to contribute positively to the lives of others.
In the race for material things and the pressure to be seen as benevolent, it’s easy to neglect the importance of simply being present. Authenticity, self-awareness and mindfulness are the crucial parts of a fulfilled life. If we are to experience real happiness, we have to embrace who we are, regardless of whether we get outside validation. This is no easy task. But #bestlife aside, our best real life demands this of us.
Knowing the difference between having + giving (or getting) and being + loving is the first step on the path.
